Learning Lessons from Love

Learning Love Lessons

Yesterday I read this article about love from Elephant Journal and it got me thinking about the lessons we learn through love. In the article, the author, Kate Rose writes that we basically fall in love with 3 people in our lifetime and there are specific reasons why. While reading it, I kept continually nodding my head in agreement as I went through the reasons why we fall in love with each love - while saving the best for last (your 3rd love).  Her argument is that people need to go through each one in order to bring them to their 3rd and final true love. And this is the interesting part [Read more...]

Active listening will help any relationship

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One of the things that I'm working hard at improving is my active listening skills. It's something that is often left wanting in comparison to other learned life skills, like speaking and writing. I'm not saying people don't listen, but if we think about it, how actively are we truly listening and just allowing the information to sink in without comment, judgement or other distractions getting in the way? I once attended a workshop that was supposed to focus on learning about intuition and how to listen to and follow it, but the class took a bit of a detour into the idea of what listening [Read more...]

Trusting yourself will guide you to the right person

Trusting yourself will guide you to the right person

Growing up in the "western" world has provided ample examples of our ideal "Mr" or  "Mrs" right. It has been drilled into our heads from a young age that our ideal romantic partner is supposed to be beautiful/handsome, tall, fit, wealthy, funny, successful, funny, and caters to our every whim and fancy. These people exist right? On top of all those luscious images we're also influenced by our family and friends. So when we look for that perfect partner, are we looking based on what we've been told or what we truly believe (that feeling that comes from deep within you that leaves doubt crumbled [Read more...]

Is there a right way to argue?

Recently, my partner and I got into an argument that in the grand scheme of things was a rather inconsequential topic to even be arguing about. I basically assumed he was thinking one thing and got mad at him, when in reality he wasn't thinking that at all. We rarely argue, but when it happens, it tends to balloon rather quickly.  After we made up, we talked about why we argue and he communicated his goal for what he would do the next time should it happen, which got me wondering, is there a right way to argue? His theory (which he got from a podcast) is that when you argue with someone, [Read more...]

Why do I want to know what my ex’s are doing?

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Recently, I "stumbled" upon the Instagram account of my ex. When I say stumble, I mean I did a search for him, and his account was the first thing that popped up. I'm one of those people who remain highly (maybe unhealthily) curious about the goings on of people who have touched my life in the past. It was weird because I haven't spoken to or had any contact with him the last 10 years, and all of sudden, there he was on my screen. And I'm not proud to admit this, but I spent a good hour studying all his posts looking for signs that he had moved on. Is this normal? Is it just me, or is this [Read more...]

Navigating emotions in a relationship

Your heart races, your face gets hot and the feeling of suffocation overwhelms all other senses. You don't know if you're going to blow or deflate, but something's gotta give. How do you control these intense emotions that come up without hurting yourself or others around you? Last night, I got upset with my partner for feedback he gave me that I asked for him to give. I was upset that he didn't deliver the feedback in the way I wanted him to. It sounds so far fetched, and I know that if a friend was describing the same situation back to me, I would be flabbergasted by his/her overreaction. [Read more...]

How to be supportive of a friend in a relationship you’re not a fan of…

A friend of mine is currently going through a relationship conundrum in which she's holding onto a relationship that isn't serving her well. By which I mean, she's giving quite a lot of herself, while her partner yarns a story about all the things he wants to give her, but when it comes down to actually doing it, it's like a ghost town (don't get me started on this type of partner). From the outside, it's so easy to look at another's relationship and see the down sides and tell that person, "you need to get it". I've definitely been on the receiving end of that advice a few times before. All I [Read more...]