Why we need pain

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You hurt. You recover. You move on. Odds are pretty good you're just going to get hurt again. But each time, you learn something. Each time, you come out of it a little stronger, and at some point you realize that there are more flavors of pain than coffee. There's the little empty pain of leaving something behind - graduating, taking the next step forward, walking out of something familiar and safe into the unknown. There's the big, whirling pain of life upending all of your plans and expectations. There's the sharp little pains of failure, and the more obscure aches of successes [Read more...]

Learning Lessons from Love

Learning Love Lessons

Yesterday I read this article about love from Elephant Journal and it got me thinking about the lessons we learn through love. In the article, the author, Kate Rose writes that we basically fall in love with 3 people in our lifetime and there are specific reasons why. While reading it, I kept continually nodding my head in agreement as I went through the reasons why we fall in love with each love - while saving the best for last (your 3rd love).  Her argument is that people need to go through each one in order to bring them to their 3rd and final true love. And this is the interesting part [Read more...]

Active listening will help any relationship

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One of the things that I'm working hard at improving is my active listening skills. It's something that is often left wanting in comparison to other learned life skills, like speaking and writing. I'm not saying people don't listen, but if we think about it, how actively are we truly listening and just allowing the information to sink in without comment, judgement or other distractions getting in the way? I once attended a workshop that was supposed to focus on learning about intuition and how to listen to and follow it, but the class took a bit of a detour into the idea of what listening [Read more...]

What defines you?

What defines you?

I remember when I got my first ever classroom and was a jumbled mess full of stress, confusion, fear, nervousness, etc, etc. I really wasn't sure how I was even functioning, but somehow I got through it. As every new teacher has probably experienced, my mornings started super early in the classroom trying to get my day figured out, to late in the evening, still trying to get that day and the next day figured out. I was eating, sleeping and living being a teacher. As much as I wanted to be a great teacher, I quickly learned that I was burning myself out. I was defining myself on whether I was a [Read more...]

When fear gets in the way of our personal growth

When fear gets in the way of our personal growth

I've been thinking a lot about how fear can sometimes hold us back and get in the way of our personal growth. It's taken a while for me to get to this head space, and I know I still have a long way to go, but I'm beginning to understand the basis behind some of my fears and acknowledging that they're usually baseless. A few years back, I joined in on the popular train of this whole listening to your intuition and gut feeling and if it's telling you not to do it, then don't do it. Unfortunately I was confusing it with the feelings of fear and discomfort. A few years ago, I was interviewing [Read more...]

Trusting yourself will guide you to the right person

Trusting yourself will guide you to the right person

Growing up in the "western" world has provided ample examples of our ideal "Mr" or  "Mrs" right. It has been drilled into our heads from a young age that our ideal romantic partner is supposed to be beautiful/handsome, tall, fit, wealthy, funny, successful, funny, and caters to our every whim and fancy. These people exist right? On top of all those luscious images we're also influenced by our family and friends. So when we look for that perfect partner, are we looking based on what we've been told or what we truly believe (that feeling that comes from deep within you that leaves doubt crumbled [Read more...]

What does it mean when you’re feeling lost and unsure?

When you're feeling lost and unsure....

A friend and I were chatting the other day and I brought up the fact that I sometimes go through bouts of feeling lost and unsure about what I'm doing and question my chosen life path. She said to me that it was probably because I wasn't doing what I wanted and that I was doing things to make others happy. In the back of my mind I knew that, but I just sometimes shove that feeling aside because I don't want to deal with it. But inevitably the feelings come creeping back like pesky dust bunnies and when it piles up enough, you have to address it. So I guess every once in a while, it's good to [Read more...]

Is there a right way to argue?

Recently, my partner and I got into an argument that in the grand scheme of things was a rather inconsequential topic to even be arguing about. I basically assumed he was thinking one thing and got mad at him, when in reality he wasn't thinking that at all. We rarely argue, but when it happens, it tends to balloon rather quickly.  After we made up, we talked about why we argue and he communicated his goal for what he would do the next time should it happen, which got me wondering, is there a right way to argue? His theory (which he got from a podcast) is that when you argue with someone, [Read more...]

Starting the morning off right

Starting mornings off right

I'm not necessarily the greatest morning person. When I first wake up, I'm not grumpy or moody, but I'm pretty quiet as I try to move from sleepy Bev to awake Bev. But I've found the best thing that has worked for me, is to get up at least 1.5 hours before I need to leave the house to give myself time to prepare for the morning. I'm pretty low maintenance so getting ready and dressed in the morning does not take up a lot of my morning time. What I really enjoy is taking my time with my morning coffee and breakfast. I love being able to sit and just contemplate the morning and the day ahead. [Read more...]